Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Officially In The 'Lupron Club'

Dear Diary,

Just got my first dose of Lupron yesterday, in the form of an injection in the butt. The area is a little tender but that should resolve shortly.
As mentioned previously, the goal here is to literally "starve" the cancer of testosterone in hopes that is will retard, or even stop the progression for a certain amount of time (the longer the better)!
The average effective range is 18 to 24 months, sometimes less and sometimes much more.
We will have to be content to wait and see.
There are a host of common yet unpleasant side effects associated with hormone therapy and I will be updating if and when they happen.
One of the more common ones is 'gynecomastia' or enlargement of the male breasts. I guess it's fortunate that I've always enjoyed wearing women's apparel! LOL!

I got another Doppler Echogram done on the old ticker today. We need that to keep track of the progress (or lack thereof) of the myxoma. I will know the results of that in about a week. I really hope it hasn't progressed much because I'm still not ready for surgery.

Things are looking much better with the lungs. I was prescribed sildenafil at my last visit to my pulmonologist but haven't been able to get it filled yet due to an unexpected pre-auth.
Apparently, the stuff is really expensive!
Sildenafil is a potent vasodilator and we hope it will be able to relax and open up my pulmonary arteries resulting in at least a modest reduction in pulmonary arterial pressures.

I think I'm gonna go lie down for a little while 'cause I'm getting fatigued

More dirt later!


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Saturday, June 24, 2017

I Feel Like I'm Falling Apart

Dear Diary,

The past two or three weeks have been pretty rough. My lower back is acting up again to the point where sometimes I can barely walk. It seems to be a pinched nerve (possibly sciatic) that is causing all this pain and numbness in my feet. I'm currently trying a daily regimen of 1300mg of acetaminophen chased with 50mg of Tramadol three times a day.
It's a good thing we kept that walker from a year ago because I'm really concerned about falling, especially when I'm here alone.
It's unlikely that the pain is associated with the cancer as I've had it off and on for many years.
It gets very wearing though, after a few weeks.

I've also been dealing with untreated dental issues including a huge cavity in one of my front teeth. The tooth finally broke off today. I need two extractions. At my age and income, restoration is not an option. I'm looking into local dental schools who might be able to do it for discounted prices.
Turns out, In America, the health insurance industry considers basic dental care a "privilege" and not a necessity. Therefore, they get away with not having to offer it in basic health plans. Sux!

I'm into day 4 of hormone therapy for the rising PSA. No side effects as yet except the strange urge to dress up in my wife's clothing and hang around in ladies' lingerie departments.
No...wait, that's not a side effect, I've always done that!   ;)

*takes 7 pm meds with water, not bourbon*

Last of all, a shout out to my son Chris, in Italy. Your Daddy's trying to reach you on FB but I get no response. Been awhile since we talked. Call me.


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Saturday, May 06, 2017

Suspenders With Diapers

Dear Diary,

Did I mention that I've taken to using dress suspenders to hold up my diapers? It works quite well until they get so saturated that I can't sit down without making a mess. (at least it's usually just pee!)

Admittedly, it does feel a little weird, especially when I feel obligated to explain to folks the reason I'm wearing dress suspenders on my bare skin under my shirt, but they seem to get the point rather quickly. 
I started using suspenders after having my shorts drop off and slide down my legs a couple of times in the middle of the grocery store! Not the best way to meet new potential friends!  Lol!

If any of you have what you think might be a better solution, I'm all ears.


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Sunday, March 05, 2017

Back To Bourbon And Bitching

Dear Diary,

Well, howdy there! Feeling a little chatty here after imbibing on bourbon and a couple of 'benzos',
Don't recommend it for the kiddies unless you really want to shut 'em up bur it works for me. Lol!

Managed to blast my diet into oblivion at the local Dunkin' Donuts® with the wife and some close friends. Yep! I still have a couple of friends. They're just waiting till I die hoping there's something in my will for them! There are going to be sadly disappointed.

The wife is at work and I miss her badly! I get very lonely without her. I spend a lot of time wondering what I'm gonna do if she croaks before me.

*takes long sip of booze*

I'll tell ya one thing though, the very next person who has the balls to suggest that I find Jesus, they're gonna meet him right then and there! This is "people hating day" for me. Outside my extended family, there are only 4 or 5 people that I actually consider 'friends'.
I'm really happier on my laptop than I am with most people, besides, my laptop doesn't drink and has absolutely no problem with consensual sex.

*more booze, no sex...yet*

I've never seriously considered suicide. Suicide is for losers and cowards, neither of which seems to fit my persona. I actually regard my declining health and eventual death as more of an adventure than a threat.

All my life, I've never 'fitted in' the way most people seem to do. In my youth, I was always skipping school in favor of escaping into the woods on the nearby hills of the New York Southern Tier where I spent most of my ten years. I also spent a good deal of time on the nearby river as I had a wooden rowboat which I had purchased from a friend.

I was tormented and frequently beaten in school for being different. I didn't want to fight or engage with my peers. Most of my friends were adults. By the time I was 16 and moved to Rochester, NY, my spirit was pretty much broken. It is only over the past couple of decades that that has started to improve.

Over the course of my 64 years on this God forsaken planet, I have gone through four wives and managed to survive on menial employment.

I AM TIRED OF THE BULLSHIT!

*more booze*

How do you think you would feel if you walked around all fucking day in wet diapers because of lack of bowel and bladder control?
How would you feel if you peeing and pooping blood all the time?
How would you feel if the only way to control your weight was  to give up most of what you enjoy eating?
What if you had active cancer gradually eating away at your body and you have no clue where it is or what can be done about it?
What if you depended on up to three liters of oxygen, 24/7 to get you through the day, wheeling a tank around with you wherever you go due to pulmonary hypertension?
What if you had a benign tumor in your heart which could embolize or metastasize at any time potentially causing stroke, death or both.
What if your medical team didn't want to do open heart surgery until my lung function was improved?
What if you had Type ll diabetes?
What if you had no sexual function whatsoever and never would again?
What if you had to take 14+ drugs every day at the correct times?
How would you feel if it was fairly certain that you would probably not live more than another five years, if you were lucky and you had fucking funeral homes sending you propaganda,

I'm out of here for tonight,

R.I.P. Chris Hitchens, You died well and not in vain!

*more booze, fuck it, I say*


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Urologist Visit

Dear Diary,

So...here we go on a Tuesday night. Both hemorrhoids and bladder are bleeding profusely.
Self-cathed this morning and then at the doctor's office. Seems to have caused an irritation of the bladder neck. The damn Xarelto® is not doing me any favors right now.
We all elected not to do another scoping as he felt that doing so could easily exacerbate the condition.

He said my urine was a mess containing blood, albumin, sugar and bacteria to mention a few. I could have told him that much. He sent it off to the lab and we should get the results back within a week.

He has provided me with all the equipment I need ti handle this at home with the exception of a foxy little nurse to handle my pecker. Of course, the wife might frown on that!   Lol!

Last but not least, I have started back on My ketogenic diet. This time it's Atkins®. It worked well for me last time but I didn't stick with it. My goal is to lose 90 pounds it a year. Wish me luck!


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Saturday, February 18, 2017

A Nice Rainy Saturday

Dear Diary,

Quite rainy here in paradise this weekend. It's a nice change from the usual.

The wife is at work and I'm putzing around the house doing as much as I feel I can get away with.
My back and neck are giving me problems, as usual, and the rain isn't helping much either plus my weight in up to 298 as of this morning.
The furosemide I'm taking for water weight doesn't seem to be as effective as it used to be. Not sure why.

I've got an appointment with Dr. F, my urologist this Tuesday to possibly have a quick cystoscopy done to see what the current bladder status is and also to bring him up to speed on the prostate cancer/PSA issue. We hopefully will be putting together a plan of action for when it is needed.

I also have pulmonary testing including a 6-minute walk test and spirometry scheduled for early March. This is in preparation for seeing Dr. O, the pulmonologist on the 21st.
The 6-minute walk test is not a 'pass or fail' type thing. It is merely a practical measure of what I can currently do. I will be allowed to do it on oxygen, fortunately!
This is all being done to hopefully qualify me for heart surgery in the very near future.

The wife is just getting over a head cold which is something neither one of us needs. Hopefully, I won't get it! The seasonal flu is also going around, big time. Both of us have made sure we are properly vaccinated but the thought of getting even a light case is scary. At our age, the flu can be fatal and this year's vaccine is supposedly only 50% effective.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I was now on Xarelto® as a blood thinner. My cardiologist managed to get it approved by my insurance but it turns out that my co-pay will be over $200 for a thirty day supply! We cannot possibly afford that so I may wind up back on good old warfarin.
I am currently researching discount plans and manufacturers programs to see if there is anything I can use. Unfortunately, most of the really good programs require that I be uninsured, which, of course, is not an option.
The good news is that Xarelto® appears to be the only one of all the drugs I have to take that it going to be unrealistically expensive...so far.

At my last cardiology appointment, both the wife and I were amazed at the results of the angiogram and other tests that I have undergone. Dr. M says that, other than the myxoma in the left atrium, I have the heart of an 18-year-old! Given my previous lifestyle, that's remarkable. I feel sorry for the 18-year old with my 64-year-old heart! ;)

Money's a little tight right and we were forced to replace the battery in the S-10 just last week. My little granddaughter, Arabella over in Italy had to go without a birthday gift from Papa and Karen again this year. We both really miss them. I'm beginning to think that I may not be around to walk her down the aisle when she decides to get married. She is such a beautiful little girl!
I don't blame the kids at all for thinking we're ignoring them but our lives are in limbo for the foreseeable future and there's not a lot we can do about it.
If I can ever regain even a major fraction of my health, it might be possible to fly over there for maybe a month. We would love to be able to do that. My granddaughter only knows me and her grandmother from Skype,

My kids!



Well, the old lady should be getting home any time now and I hope she is careful in the rain as our windshield wipers are somewhat compromised. Gotta get new ones soon!

I think it's gonna be a really good night for sleeping and dreaming of a better life for both of us.

Good night all!


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Friday, February 03, 2017

Odds & Ends Going In To Super Bowl Weekend

Dear Diary,

What a way to start the weekend! It might as well be 'Super Bowel Weekend. Been laid up all day with a bad case of the shits. Good thing that I don't tend to be graphic, huh? With any luck, I'll be feeling better by Sunday so I can watch the game.
Neither team is on my 'favorites' list but I'm gonna go for Atlanta over New England because I'm still pissed at the Patriots!

The wife had the day off and that was nice. It was good not to have to go anywhere or do anything.

We've decided to change pharmacies due to our last one, OSCO, discontinuing their prescription discount program that we've been utilizing for years. Looks like the only one that comes close to what we had is Wal-Mart. Most of my stuff is tier 1 which should only cost us $10 or less for a 90 day supply. I only have 2 or 3 tier 3 drugs which will have to go through my insurance.

Just had my blood draw for my latest PSA a couple of days ago. No results available yet. I really hope it hasn't doubled again. Probably going to make an appointment with Dr. F, the urologist, and get him on board. I like him. It will be good to have him back, at least for this year.

Well, I'm gonna go get dinner started, it's chicken tonight!

Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Just Talking To Myself ;)

Dear Diary,

I'm bored today. The wife is at work and I'm here just putzing around on the Internet. The cat is asleep as usual so I'm all by myself.

I got a real nice, encouraging e-mail from one of my long time followers. I was beginning to think that nobody reads this diary anymore. I do admit it's gotten a bit repetitive of late. That's what happens when you get old and start losing it! Lol!

The rain has stopped for a while and it's real nice outside. I want to get out and walk around the neighborhood but I'm worried that I might get mugged, what with being on the oxygen and all.
The 'hood' has been going downhill crime wise for at least 2 or 3 years now.
The wife and I had a bit of a scare recently. We were out walking around the block shortly after dark when a car with a 'Papa John's logo pulled up right beside us. The driver got out and came over and started talking to us. Had me worried that he might want to take advantage of an elderly couple, especially with the man disabled.
Turns out he wanted to pray with us! Christian fanatics...gotta love 'em! I should have tried to extort him by saying that I'd report his behavior to his boss if he didn't give us free pizza!

The wife gets home around 7:00 pm and she's picking up a nice Merlot that we can enjoy this evening. I decided to knock off the bourbon for a while till the time comes when I really need it.
My Doc frowns on my constant requests for Fentanyl /IVpush. I have no idea why!   ;)

I've started using the new scented O2 based on aromatherapy. I find I'm pretty much hooked on 'Pumpkin Spice'!

On another note, I'm hoping that my health will have improved enough by September that I might be able to actually get out and go dove hunting. This is assuming I can even afford a license, what with the ongoing medical expenses we have to deal with.
I really miss being able to get out there in the desert, in the quiet, away from the city. The wife and I used to spend hours out there enjoying nature and then come home with a limit of delicious doves.
Hell, I'd love to be out there even if I wasn't hunting!

*gets up and turns on 'Lava Lamp'™*

Well, it's almost 8:00 now and the wife is still at the store. I put out a steak for dinner and it's calling to me. As I type this, she just sent me a text saying she's on the way home so it will be about ten minutes. Now I'm happy!

Our cat is now on my desk enthusiastically licking my file folders. He is the equivalent of  95+ in human years. I hope I don't start doing that when I'm that old! I'll stick to licking the windows on the 'short bus'.   ;)

I don't usually talk politics on here but I sure am concerned about what's going on with the new administration, especially health care/insurance. I'm eligible For Medicare benefits and the way things seem to be going, I'm not even sure it's going to be there for me!
I just hope the Republicans can get their act together, at least enough to replace the ACA with an equivalent or better plan. People like me are counting on it.
Personally, I think the new administration is moving way too fast on addressing critical issues, but, time will tell.

*pours another glass of wine*

The next update will be when I get home from the hospital on Monday...(and the crowd goes "ahhhhhhh". Yeah...I'm nuts, I know.

I guess I've rambled on enough for one evening so I'll sign off here.


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

General Update



Dear Diary,

Blood pressure has been real high, (180s) systolic for a couple of weeks now. Talked to the cardiologist about it and we decided to stop the Metoprolol in favor of Carvedilol which is a non-selective beta blocker. We also added Valsartan. Valsartin is an angiotensin II receptor antagonist (commonly called an ARB, or angiotensin receptor blocker), that is selective for the type I (AT1) angiotensin receptor.
Hopefully, these new drugs will get this under control before I have a stroke.

*sips wine*

In other news, I have decided to drop the pulmonary guys that I've been working with for the past year.
I am switching to another pulmonologist at Norton Thoracic Institute which is a part of St. Joseph's Medical Center which is where I had my lung biopsy done.
I have an appointment for the middle of next week for another echo and a vent perfusion scan before I see him the next day.
The last time I had a V/Q lung scan was a year ago when this nonsense first began. At the time, the results were unremarkable. It should be interesting to see what we get this time.
When I get the latest echo, I will ask them to check the status of the myxoma at the same time.

*sips more wine*

All these new goodies mean that the wife and I are going to take a huge financial hit on top of what we already owe. We have coasted for the past couple of months due to my deductibles all being met for 2016 and the insurance picking up 100%.
With my new insurance, I have a much higher annual out of pocket ($7,000) than I did last year so it looks like we're in for a bit of a struggle.

At least I didn't spend this Christmas in the hospital like I did last year. Thank goodness for small favors! Lol!





Cheers!

"Every day above ground is a good day". -- Scarface

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Odds And Ends

Dear Diary,

It's been a pretty good day here in Paradise. I got to talk to my son and his wife on Skype today. They are in Italy for minimally four years courtesy of the USAF.
Apparently they are having the time of their lives. Tried to have a conversation with my soft little granddaughter but she was too intent on harassing her daddy to pay too much attention to me. ;(



My Granddaughter Arabella
The bladder bleed is back and quite a nuisance. If I can get back with my last urologist after the new year, we will address this issue once again.

*sips on a glass of red wine*

Feeling a little lonesome at the moment. The wife is at work until 10:00pm and I miss her. At least I had enough energy to get the dishes done tonight!
Tomorrow is going to be somewhat hectic because I've gotta spend what will probably be a great deal of time on the phone with healthcare providers.

Did I mention that I got clearance to wean off the Prednisone? This is a good thing! I will titrate down from 10mg to nothing over the next couple of weeks. It's been a smooth ride so far but I'll be glad to be off it. It might even make it a little easier to lose some weight.

Does anyone need some humor lately? I know I do! With that in mind, here is a cool collection of Donald Trump jokes to give a chuckle in the wake of the election.
Who knows, it might even keep visitors on my page longer! Lol!

*********************************************************************************
Donald Trump has announced that now he’s been elected President he’s going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Now that Donald Trump has been elected President, there’ll be hell toupĂ©e.
Donald Trump getting elected President has already had a positive effect on the economy.
Sales of alcohol have never been higher.
Now that Donald Trump’s becoming president, I’m going to Mexico.
Not by choice though…
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation?
Discrimination.
Donald Trump labelled Hillary Clinton “disgusting” for taking a bathroom break during the recent Democrat debate.
Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the crap just comes straight out of his mouth.
My friend said to me, “I hear the FBI have foiled a terrorist plot to kill Donald trump.”
“What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked.
“No, a surface to hair missile.”
Donald Trump has announced that he’s going to ban wind farms now he’s been elected.
He really needs to keep his hair on.
I’d make a political joke…
But it would just end up being elected President.
Donald Trump is going to be the next president, but the real winner is Melania Trump.
Now she can call herself the First Lady instead of the Third Wife.
Why did Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election?
Because now he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
What does Melania see in Donald Trump?
10 billion dollars and high cholesterol.
What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common?
They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.
How much is Donald Trump’s life insurance?
Just one Pence.
“You’re telling me I’m losing my job because Trump won the election? Why, because I’m black?!?”
“Mister President, we’ve been over this…”
Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school one day.
In one of the classes, they’re in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Trump if he’d like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”
He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and says, “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” says Trump, “That would be an accident.”
Next a little girl raises her hand and says, “If a school bus carrying forty children went off a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“No, I’m afraid not,” says Trump. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”
The room goes silent for a while as no other children volunteer.
Trump looks around the room and says a little testily, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
At last, a little boy at the back of the class raises his hand and says, “If a private jet carrying you, Mr Trump, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” shouts Mr Trump, “That’s exactly right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”
Now Donald Trump has been elected as President, he’ll be the first man to use fake tan inside the Oval Office.
Clearly, orange is the new black.
What happens when you take a joke too far?
The 45th President of the United States of America.
A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Police says it’s impossible to tell if it was done by Trump’s opponents or his supporters.
How many Donald Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
Look, we can change the light bulb. That I will tell you. We’re changing it, ok? And I understand what you’re saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say “Is the light bulb really dead?”. That’s what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The light bulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. But we are going to change it.
Donald Trump’s foreign policy:
If you mess with the USA, there’ll be hell toupee.
How does Donald Trump plan on deporting illegal immigrants?
Juan by Juan.
Donald Trump has done more than anyone to promote equality…
He’s equally hated by blacks and Hispanics.
In a recent survey, 70% of Americans responded that Donald Trump being elected has made them nervous.
The other 30% said it will make them Canadians.
Donald Trump has announced that now he’s been elected, he’s going to put a wig on the Presidential plane and call it Hair Force One.
If Donald Trump becomes President, it won’t be the first time he’s kicked a black family out of their home.
I just found out Donald Trump is running for President as a Republican.
I thought he was running as a joke.
Do you want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
 Courtesy: LaffGaff


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Friday, October 28, 2016

Bottom Of The Barrel!

Dear Diary,

It appears that, with all the weird things going wrong with me lately and the general direction my life seems to be taking that I have finally reached a new low, the proverbial 'bottom of the barrel'.

This morning began uneventfully enough. I woke up a little late (you can do that when you're retired), got up out of bed and immediately noticed that our dear, demented cat, Pumpkin, had decided to leave me a gift in the form of a nice, fresh, well formed turd.

I knew he had visited me in the night as he frequently does but I had no idea he was bringing gifts!

I guess he figured that would fit in nicely with my present lifestyle. He had placed it carefully, in stealth mode, on my exposed right side.

We are used to getting up in the night and stepping in small pools of cold vomit (hair balls) but this was a new low for him.

He is 19+ years old and following way too close to his daddy!

Cats....gotta love "em!


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Another Saturday Night At ER

Dear Diary,

Just got back from the emergency room...again. Looks like we still have pneumonia lingering in the lower left lung base. I'm now back on another ten day course of  Levaquin®

They did another CT with contrast and compared it with the last one I had and apparently there is more improvement with the 'ground glass opacity' issue. Main issue now is it appears that the ugly density that was residing in my lower left lobe has decided to return.

The scrub gods are fairly certain it is pneumonia.

They are getting to know us down there at Scottsdale Abrazo. We have arranged for the entire radiology department to be my pallbearers. They have yet to find out that I'm being cremated.

As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure if my lungs will burn being as how they're so full of fluid!
The rest of it shouldn't be a problem considering my liquor consumption. Lol!

Just so ya know, this is just a weak attempt at 'gallows humor'. Take it light, I do!


Cheers!


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Monday, July 04, 2016

Happy Independence Day!

Dear Diary,

Happy 4th! The wife and I actually got out and did some socializing last night. We went up to Carefree and drank wine and watched fireworks with some old friends (literally) as they are both in their eighties. Afterwards, we all went back in the house, drank more wine and talked about "geezer stuff". ;) A good time was had by all, as usual.
The fireworks display was quite good, so good in fact that I recorded most of it on my cellphone.
You can watch it here.

No news, good or bad on the health front. I get my next CAT scan this week but I won't have much feedback from that until I see the pulmonologist in a couple of weeks.
Other than that, both the wife an I are trying to maintain a very low profile and stay out of trouble. ;)

On another front, we have decided to try and sell my work van. It in a 2002 GMC Safari with about 106,000 miles on it. It runs great and is good on gas. The exterior looks good with a minimum of minor scratches and dents. The main issue with it is that the interior is in pretty bad shape, wear and tear wise and needs major cleaning.
I'm selling it as is as a 'fixer-upper' and I hope to get $2000 out of it. That would help us out a lot between SS checks.

That's about it for updates. More as the drama unfolds. I sure wish I had some booze! :(

                       
Cheers!

"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Short Update

Dear Diary,

The good news is...I'm still alive. Whoopee!!

The weather here seems to have stabilized for a while. Not as hot as it was, staying around 110° to 112° in the shade. Typical summer in Paradise.

*Sips bourbon*

I'm currently working on weaning myself off oxygen. It promises to be a long, uphill struggle if, in fact, it can be done at all.
Unfortunately, most of the research I'v done so far strongly suggests that I may be on it for life even if the underlying disease process is not progressive.
Sitting here at the desk, I can usually hold 95% or better. That's if I remember to breathe!
I still can't move around the house like I used to without desatting down to the mid seventies. That level is considered dangerous hypoxia if it is allowed to continue for more than a few minutes.

It doesn't seem like there's any more progressive improvement which is worrisome. The heart surgery relies on this being resolved before we can proceed with it.
If this heart issue was an elective procedure, I wouldn't be so concerned. I have to have the surgery or risk the very real possibility of my early demise.

It's been too hot to walk outside lately so I've been trying to keep as active as possible here in the house. Unfortunately, that really isn't the kind of exercise I need.

I'll post again as things change.


"Every day above ground is a good day".  -- Scarface

Cheers!

Saturday, June 04, 2016

MRI Done. Now We Wait.

Dear Diary,

Just got the High Contrast Cardiac MRI done yesterday. Damn thing took an hour! Imagine lying in a tube just big enough for your body staying perfectly still for a solid hour. It's a good thing lying around doing nothing is what I do best. Lol!

Here's what the machine looks like:
When the test is done you can wash and dry your clothes in it too!

They have another test where they stick a radio coil up your ass! I wanted that one but they just looked at me in a weird sort of way and said that didn't work for the heart.  ;)

We won't have any results before Monday afternoon. I hope this was worth it.

*Sips bourbon*

Truthfully, there really isn't anything else to report and it's 'triple digits' hot here so I'm gonna sign off and chill!

Cheers!

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Brand New CPAP

Dear Diary,

At long last, we just took possession of my new CPAP. This is a really good thing for me.
When I sleep at night, I tend to experience varying degrees of sleep apnea.
The new machine will keep my airway pressurized if I'm not breathing well. It also has an O2 bleed in to help ensure that I wake up in the morning.

No word yet from the gods of modern medicine as to what our next move will be. I'm starting to believe my general health is about as fucked as the 2016 election.

I go in for my weekly INR tomorrow morning so maybe I'll have some news then.

Cheers!

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

This Health Stuff Is Getting REALLY old!

Dear Diary,

Okay. Here's the update on the previous post regarding the "mass in my heart".

I had the transesophageal echo (TEE) this morning which required both my wife and myself getting up at around 4:30am. I thought I had planned everything carefully the night before including a full oxygen cylinder for the trip to the hospital and back.
Much to my dismay, I discovered that, in my infinite wisdom, I had somehow managed to leave the main valve of the tank...on! As if that wasn't enough, it was my last tank, reserved for this appt.
I scrambled through the other 7 tanks and managed to find one with about a 20 minute reserve at a 3 liter flow. We managed to make it to the hospital by throttling the flow of and on. When we arrived, they very kindly provided a portable tank rather than have me turn blue and writhe on the lobby floor. ;)

*Note to self: You require much more O2 when you panic. Lol!*

The procedure itself was pretty much a non event. They just numb your throat and give light anesthesia then ram an ultrasound transducer down your throat. I never thought I could swallow something that large. I guess I'm in the wrong profession!
The funny part was that despite the usual combination of Versed and Fentanyl, did not put me to sleep. As a matter of fact, it barely made me sleepy at all! The whole thing took about 5 minutes and I was fully awake the entire time, much to the distress of the cath lab staff.

Now for the good stuff. There is a small mass in my heart, 1.9 x 2.2cm. I'm not going to go into great detail about the mass itself because the end result is the same regardless of what it is.
I will be undergoing open heart surgery, probably within the next 2 weeks.
The benefits of having the surgery far outweigh the risks. The overall mortality is <5%. The chance of something happening to the mass and causing it to break and enter the bloodstream are much higher.

All that being said, things are really gonna get busy around here soon. I will update the blog with shorter, but more frequent entrys.
Wish me luck. I admit to being a bit scared but the alternative is worse.

Cheers!

Friday, February 26, 2016

Saturday Evening

Dear Diary,

We moved  the back patio furniture over to the front patio so we could sit a little bit longer without being burned by the sun. It was the first day in ages that I've actually had the ambition to do stuff like this. Maybe I should use the term energy.
Anyway we're sitting out there right now having our cocktails and getting ready for supper. We've got a nice roast of beef in the oven and it should be ready in about 45 minutes.

I've been off oxygen all day today and I'm still alive, as a matter of fact, I'm not even blue! That's always a plus you know. If it keeps improving like this I'm hoping that I will be 100% off oxygen within the next couple of weeks. What a sense of freedom that would be!

The bladder has been giving me a little bit of an issue today. A slight bleed started when I got up from taking a nap. Before that it was leaking urine continuously. I did self catherization and there was considerable pain involved when the catheter hit the bladder area. Now, for some reason, the bladder seems to want to retain the urine. Probably no big deal as I can re-catheterize if there gets to be too much in there.

I decided to do the home sleep study on Sunday night and take the equipment back the next day. Hopefully I will be able to get a good sleep so they get some kind of usable information. I'm giving it a couple of days so I can see what happens if I go without oxygen overnight. Based on today, I suspect I can go all night with no problem. Saturation doesn't seem to get below 85% at the worst.
I've been thinking quite a bit about it and I've decided that I really would like to go with a CPAP if the insurance company will pick it up. At the very least, it would tend to keep my respiratory tract a little moisturized in this very dry climate.
I'm reminded of that because my lips are dry and bleeding which happens almost exactly the same time every year. The relative humidity is really dropped off so we're probably going to need to use a humidifier pretty soon or possibly the swamp cooler.

As I posted earlier, I'm starting to worry about the cancer recurrence again. It's getting about time to get the PSA checked. The last time it was checked it was 0.3. If it is continuing to increase then this is a significant issue. It will probably result in my having to go on hormones. Probably something like Lupron.
This may affect my life in a very profound way.
It's very depressing to think that I may go from the current set of problems that I have now to a whole brand new set of problems with the possible recurrence of cancer.
I've been very lucky so far but that can't hold out forever so all I can really do is just wait and see how things play out. I plan to get the PSA done within will the next month. Updates will be available. Wish me luck!

Somehow, I suspect 2016 is going to be a very interesting year!


Cheers!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

We Overslept Today

We were supposed to get up a little bit early and try to get to the bi-weekly outdoor food market. The wife was ambitious and made the trip but yours truly didn't. Too tired.

Continuing to feel better each day but it's still a long, uphill climb. I did manage to get out for my first walk around the block and guess what, I did it with no oxygen support.

We are going to have to pick up a reasonably priced pulse oximeter to monitor my O2 levels for the next few months, just to be on the safe side.

It appears that most of my weakness is muscular from lying in bed so long. well, we all know what to do about that, don't we? Lol!

Sitting here having a bourbon and man, does it taste good. Later on, spring mix salad and roast beast!

Once again, please don't be shy to say hi once in a while. It makes a person feel less alone, Even my beloved wife and son don't send me comments. I don't know what that means. I'm sorry my children had to move to Italy under bad terms but both me wife and I are always here for them if they should ever want to work things out. I love them both with all my heart but they have to be the ones who want to fix things.

*sips a great deal of booze*

The reason a lot of this is out of order and difficult to follow is that it is not scripted. It is exactly what is going through my mind at the time. That is what makes it different than some diaries or journals. That is also why I don't have a whole lot of readers.

This diary is not just about my experience with prostate cancer but all the other things that make growing old interesting (and sometimes scary).


Well, the cat threw up on our quilt tonight. We,re quite the couple, sleeping on the same futon for nearly twenty years. I'll get up and wash it tomorrow after coffee.


I've got to keep track of all the shit that's gone wrong with me at 62 years old.

Diabetes Mellitus Type II
Possible nerve impingement in lumbar spine
Possible diabetic retinopathy
Cannot take anticoagulants
OCD
Impotence
Urinary incontinence
Fecal incontinence
$3000-$4000 in dental work not covered by insurance
Enlarged heart (reason unknown)
Morbid obesity
Unemployable
Prostate Adenocarcinoma (2012) (not in remission)
Radiation Induced Proctitis
Radiation Induced Cystitis
Atrial Fibrillation (Intermittent
Hospital Acquired Pneumonia
Blood Clots in the Lungs
Bleeding Hemorrhoids
Psoriasis
Umbilical Hernias
Osteoarthritis 



Cheers!













Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Dribbling...(and we're not talking basketball!)

Ya know, if I could dribble as well on the basketball court as I do in my diapers I could be an NBA star!
After my last visit with Dr F, it became increasingly clear that I'm  probably going to leak urine on pretty much a continuing basis for the rest of my life.
Other than diapers, the only other practical solution seems to be a 'penile clamp'. Yea, that's right.
Because they are 'medical supplies' they cost $60 for a pack of 6.
I figure I can save some money by picking out a standard hose clamp at ACE Hardware for a buck fifty or so.
We'll see just see how helpful the hardware wants to be when I ask him to size it for me!
Actually, maybe a 10" to 12" AC duct clamp would fit better.
My only problem with this arrangement is that it may be kind of awkward stepping up to a public urinal, whipping out my dick, (what little there is of it) and then whipping out a Phillips screwdriver to unscrew the clamp so I can finally pee. (I'll just tell 'em that this is OZ and I'm the Tin fucking Woodman!

The incontinence is getting old really fast. There hasn't been a store that Karen and I have been in in the past month or so where I haven't managed to piss myself. If I had a pee fetish, it would be exiting...I guess, but, unfortunately my fetishes tend to run in other directions.

Well, enough about my adventures bleeding my lizard!

We are getting ready for a dinner of broiled bison...YUM!! Haven't had that in AGES!

It is Thanksgiving eve. I am thankful that I and our immediate and extended families are at the very least, reasonably healthy and happy.
My heart goes out to those who are not as fortunate, for there are many. Some if us will live out our lives in reasonably good health and comfort and some of us will not.
Probably the most important lesson this disease has taught me is to stand up, look it in the face and find and exploit the humor in it!
Do NOT fear death! It is a normal part of life. Accept it as such. It is the greatest gift that all living creatures possess.

Cheers & Courage To All!